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Relationship Question: How can you stop having sex after you’ve decided to devote your life to Christ?

by Jason Smith on August 30, 2010

This is some­thing many peo­ple strug­gles with, try­ing to stop hav­ing sex with some­one they love, some­one their really attracted to.

I see cou­ples all the time that try to stop hav­ing sex when one part­ner has got­ten their life right with God. I have tried it before in pre­vi­ous rela­tion­ships only to find myself doing the same thing repeat­edly, hav­ing sex.

Ques­tion: How can you stop hav­ing sex with some­one you love after you’ve decided to devote your life to Christ?

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

AJ Bell August 30, 2010 at 10:59 am

Ouch… you’re on your own here. lol

Seri­ously, why do you have to stop hav­ing sex? If you truly love and care about the per­son, then make them your spouse and you can have all the sex you want with­out guilt. If that per­son is not the one for you, then you need to move on or you are liv­ing a lie with a per­son who thinks they are “the one”. In that case one sin is no greater than the other, so go ahead and have sex!!

Schronda August 30, 2010 at 5:08 pm

Any­body??

Angela August 30, 2010 at 9:39 pm

You have to fill your time with fast­ing, pray­ing, and fel­low­ship. Keep your eyes on the Lord and get lost in the Word! And even then it is not as easy as peo­ple make it out to be. And peo­ple who make it out to be; prob­a­bly hasn’t had to do it. I’m speakin from expe­ri­ence! Being save and sin­gle is not easy but it is worth it! I just hate when peo­ple try and tell you how to go about it and: A-been mar­ried since they were 12!, B-got saved after they got mar­ried, or C-has never tried Jesus and there­fore been doing what­ever they feel in their body. That’s what I call a “speak-easy”.

Lisa August 31, 2010 at 5:33 am

I think AJ Bell and Angela are on point with their advice, although I would lean more toward tak­ing Angela’s advice. Per­son­ally, I think when you are build­ing a rela­tion­ship with Christ, there’s no room for a “boyfriend” or “girl­friend” because GOD is doing a work in you and He’s prepar­ing you for a hus­band or a wife. (unless He has some­thing else planned for your life) When you are build­ing a rela­tion­ship with Christ, He is your boyfriend. And it’s not easy com­mit­ting your­self to Christ because He does have such high stan­dards and expec­ta­tions (lol :) ) and that’s where Angela’s advice comes in. Pray, fast, and get lost in the word! It’s def­i­nitely not easy but you have to trust GOD enough to know He’ll bring you through the temp­ta­tion. I really do believe when He says, if you love Me, you will keep My com­mand­ments and some­times we need to admit to our­selves that some­times we love our­selves more than we love GOD. I think if you can admit that to your­self and GOD, the real change can begin. (wow I think I’m going to take Angela and my own advice… gee thanks post­ing this Jason!)

Tameca September 9, 2010 at 10:31 pm

Great ques­tion Jason! For me it was hard because dur­ing that time I was in a rela­tion­ship, and he didn’t want to stop hav­ing sex. Me being a man pleaser I gave in. As a result of me putting him first instead of God the rela­tion­ship fail apart. Through­out this jour­ney I real­ized that I had to make a deci­sion that God was going to be #1 in my life. In that, I’m allow­ing God to pre­pare me to be the wife he would have me to be. I’ve had some set backs but I can’t let that stop me from press­ing on to what God has for me. No it’s not easy because nights get loney and I desire to be touch and held like I once was. When those desires come I lis­ten to encour­ag­ing music. Some­times I even have to praise my way out of those feel­ing. I do what­ever it takes to resist those temp­ta­tions. I’m not dat­ing any­one now and I must admit that that’s help­ful and eas­ier. But I recently dis­cov­ered that I was afraid to date because I was afraid that the temp­ta­tion would over­come me. But God showed me that I was afraid because I was rely­ing on myself and not him. 1 Corinthi­ans 10:13…So now I’m free from that fear and just wait­ing on God to allow that man that he has for me to dis­cover me!

Tameca September 12, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Jason, today you posted (face­book) a song by Tank “Sex Music”. It made me think about this post. I loved R&B music, all that love & sex stuff. But God showed me how this type of music was influ­enc­ing my desire to have sex. My desires didn’t need any help so I had to stop lis­ten­ing to this type of music. Oh it was not easy at all!!! I can’t say it’s a cure to not hav­ing sex but I can surely tell you lis­ten­ing to songs like this adds fuel to a fire you’re try­ing to keep down!

Mr M.C.Dlamini November 23, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Its realy good to recieve Jesus Christ as oyur Lord and Sav­iour in your life. But when He get in to your life He find that you had some other com­mitt­ments which you never think of it them by the time you take this deci­sion. Hav­ing sex before mar­riage is not a game but a behav­iour that is strongly under the influ­ence of the evil spirit. Mar­ried cou­ples can tell you that they are not hav­ing sex every­day or every now and again like unmar­ried peo­ple. To prove that just ask any mar­ried cou­ple which you are close to them if they do sex now and again, or may be how many times they do sex per month, or in three months.
Obvi­ous hav­ing sex before mar­riage is sin­ful and not accept­able in the world you are liv­ing in. So if you have already indulge your­self in sex, make any means you can make to stop it before its late. I have to go home now, other wise I would like to say some­thing more about this subject.

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