by Jason Smith on January 26, 2012
Have you ever given someone a second chance at love? Did it work out? Was it hard to separate the past from the present? Would you give someone a second chance at love?
Far too often I see people going back to ex’s only to find themselves in a bad situation, again. It’s like we get so caught up into love – or thinking someone will change because they said they had, or even because of the history – that we forget what happen previously. Should we automatically forget what happen in the past just because someone is telling us they’ve changed? Can someone change in a period of two, three, or six months? Doesn’t change take time and isn’t it something you need when giving someone a second chance?
I recall the day I said I wanted to change the way I was treating women. I always considered myself a pretty good guy. I wasn’t out there hitting on women, cussing, or doing things I have seen other men do. Still, I had issues also, I was a cheater. I did things to women that may have emotionally scarred them. From my actions, they may feel like the next man would cheat also. Was I any better than a man who laid his hands on a woman? I felt I needed to change, and I did. Not because I wanted another chance with someone, more so because it was time for me to do the right thing and not cheat.
See change starts with self and if you’re (or they’re) willing to change, a second chance may be ok. We have to stop giving people chance after chance, and they continue to break our hearts. We have to give ourselves time to heal from abusers, liars, or cheaters. If you want a second chance, have you really changed? Even if you have it doesn’t mean you will be given another chance. Second chances aren’t for everyone.
Today if you’re thinking about giving someone a second chance, I want you to think about it. Ask yourself, “Have I given myself enough time to heal and forgive?” If not, move on and finish healing so you can be better prepared for someone else. If you are willing to forgive and move forward, be honest with your mate about your feelings. Make sure you see change in them and not just with them because you’re lonely.
A second chance should be the last chance, never let anyone be a revolving door in your world.
by Jason Smith on January 24, 2012
It is possible to create a winning scenario with the opposite sex! Embrace your strengths but stop looking for just an equal of those strengths, start looking for a man that compliments your character and build a winning team! I cant speak for everyman but if we are a winning team I will respect, cherish and be loyal to the one that shows unconditional love but has a plan… Listening to a plan empowers both of us. Listening to your feelings is an easy way to ruin a plan. Exercise prayer, faith and preparation.
–Patrick Dorsey
by Jason Smith on January 23, 2012
“Ladies, if he’s not taking care of child 1, 2, 3, and 4… What makes your think he will take care of number 5 with you?”
I recently put this quote up on my Facebook page. The initial quote was to open up women’s eye’s about settling for anything. However, I received a response from a man that was mind-boggling to me, his response to the quote:
Bad example! A man will be a man if he is a man. The number of children should not change that. Now if you are just looking for someone to take care of you, then you should move back in with YOUR mom and dad.
So does he feel men should have kids and not be responsible for them? By the comment, “A man will be a man if he is a man,” is he implying men should have kids and move on to the next woman just because he sees a piece of ass he wants to tap and have a child with her?
See the problem I have with the comment is that I feel he think men shouldn’t be accountable for their actions. Like it’s ok to have kids and leave them with their mom’s to take care of them. Is that selfish? In my opinion, it’s very selfish and the more men who have this mentality the more single mothers there will be.
Men, even if you’re paying child support, you should be a part of your kid’s life. No matter what you think, your child needs you. It’s things a man can teach a child that a woman can’t and vice versa. Don’t think child support is all you should do. Your child needs you, be there for them!
by Jason Smith on January 20, 2012
Have you ever stayed in a relationship far too long? You knew it was time to hit the door but because of those three words, I Love You, you stayed. Maybe you were in a relationship because of the kids, not even worrying about your happiness, staying in the relationship for them. Is that the right thing to do? It all depends on who you ask. Still, should people stay in relationships when they’re not happy? Do we stay in relationships far too long? When is it time to say goodbye?
I have a good friend who’s been married for over 10 years and hasn’t been happy for a while. Her husband is very controlling, doesn’t treat her as a partner, more so like a child. Because they have kids, she feels obligated to stay. He’s cheated and blamed her for his infidelity, she stayed. He left the home once when they didn’t have any money and went back to his mother’s home. Not only did he leave the account in the negative, he left the kids with nothing. Then he turns around and asks for sex; you have to draw the line somewhere. Still, because they have kids, and she doesn’t like the idea of losing her family, she wants to work it out.
I think the example above happens to many of us. Not just women, men battle knowing when to say goodbye also. For most of us, there is no specific time. There’s no road map telling people when to end a relationship because every relationship is different. Still, staying in an unhealthy relationship isn’t healthy. Staying in an abusive relationship isn’t healthy. Staying with someone who has no respect for you isn’t healthy. Staying because of the kids and having them watch it all, isn’t healthy for them.
Sometimes it’s time to say goodbye, just don’t be afraid to move on.
